Going in Circles and Downward Spirals

[|~|Lapara|~|]

Lapara, Laela, and Holitorn

They were going in circles. They were back in the central lands. The place they never wanted to be again. The place she had almost lost her daughter. How did she get back here. She guessed that when she had been traveling from one small start of a pride to another, she had gotten turned around. Lapara stood there looking at the familiar landscape. Prob ally more familiar to her cubs. They had spent their whole life on these lands. They understood when they had to leave, but the cubs would still know. She looked around remembering the battle. Next time they might not be so lucky. Next time Taj might not be around to help her. There might be no golden flower. No. That would not happen. Next time she was going to kill that little lioness. That lioness did not even deserve to be a lion. She made a promise to herself that she would keep no matter the cost. Kill her. Or at least injure her enough to make her dad feel what she had felt on that day. It all came back to her in this one instant. The pain of not knowing if her daughter would make it. It was enough to make anyone go insane. And that male was going to feel it. Her thoughts came back to the land. They had to find a place to spend the night, for it was the beginning of the twilight hour. Then tomorrow they would run. Get out of here before she saw the lioness and reacted.

Holitorn looked about the land and realized where they were. His eyes widened in horror and he immediately froze in place. He saw his mother. The same shock went through her and then she looked almost blood-thirsty. Something had changed since the battle. He was afraid of his mother sometimes. Other times he felt mad at her. She didn't care for him anymore. She didn't think of him anymore. Sometimes he thought she forgot that he was her son. If he and his sister wrestled like they used to, instead of watching them with a smile, she would go in a push them apart. She would tenderly push Laela away and then tower over him. She would scream at him about how he could have hurt his sister. Laela used to try to stop her but lately she will just sit there with her head down and let their mother torture him with her screaming. His mother would sometimes look at Laela and smile and then her eyes would turn full of hatred. She had never been like that before. She used to love everything. His sister had changed too. She used to be full of energy. But now she was drooping like a wildflower in winter. She was becoming lifeless. Maybe it was a side affect from the golden flower. He hoped it was just a lack of energy and nothing more. He hoped desperately. He knew he couldn't live without his sister.

Laela looked around at the place. This was where she grew up. Yay. She was home. Why had her mother made her go on that long, boring, journey? Oh well. She laughed. Her dead look in her eyes brightened a bit. Then she saw her mom and brother's horrified faces. "Why are you so scared you guys? We're home!" She walked into the grasses, not a care in the world, loving every minute. And so she should. The golden flower had cured her wound, but it had a poison in it that most lions didn't know about because it was a slow acting poison. If it got into the blood steam, it would go to the brain. Where it slowly deteriorated it. Laela's mind had been reduced to that of a cub 3 months younger then herself. Her memory had been attacked too. She didn't remember the battle, or her injury, or any of the bad things that had happened to her. Soon her memory would be to small and she would start forgetting good things too. She would have very little short-term memory. Her brain would keep decreasing until she could hardly think. And eventually, it would kill her. For the time being, she lived in a happy little world of her own. The really sad part is that she might live to be 2 years old and start being independent before anyone would realize it. She might live for 2 to 3 more years before she would lose most of her thinking. Just long enough to taste life before leaving it, if not physically, at least mentally. It would last a while. Draw out the fear and constant headaches. And she would know. That she was going to die soon.


OOC: I have been thinking about that for a while. I don't know if there is really a poison like that but oh well. Who cares. More plot complications and role playing opportunities!

[Bhu]

OOC//: Check out his profile and see if your interested in him becoming Lapara's mate. brokentruths.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=approved&action=display&thread=53

My pawsteps were light and lazy as I wove my way through the free territory. No male owned these lands, so I held no fair of justified attacks. If someone came and planted violence on me, I would be in the right to defend myself.

Many days had passed since I had accidentally passed a border and got scolded by a lioness. Being an adult male lion, the oppertunity of joining had never been presented, so I was forced back to solitude. But the females voice remained with me. I had no true interest in her, I was simply just a social male. I needed to hear a voice, and that was the only one I could recall.

"Why are you so scared you guys? We're home!"

It was a cubs voice, obviously, so innocent and filled with joy. I made no move to head towards it, at first, but I quickly got over the hesitation and smiled. Weaving my way through the brambles, I calmly appeared in the cleared space that the small family stood in. Dipping my head, I spoke in a warm, purely friendly tone. "Hello Miss." My gaze then turned to the cubs, and my eyes gentled further. "Cute cubbies." I loved children.

[|~|Lapara|~|]

She couldn't believe it when her daughter said those words. What was going on? Couldn't she remember everything that had happened here? There was too much for her to just forget. Holitorn just sat there so she ignored him. Not even considering the idea that he was thinking about her and how she had changed. Lapara's mind was consumed with her daughter. Before she could question it anymore however, she heard movements in the bramble. Terror filled her. Her body reacted instinctively and she crouched down and bared her teeth, ready to leap at a moment's notice.

Holitorn stood there and observed his sister. There had to be something wrong with her. She obviously didn't remember the attack. She didn't even want to be quiet. She should be. He assumed they were leaving in the morning. The brambles moved and his mother got ready to pounce. He turned and gave his attention to the bush should anything come out of it and try to attack them.

A butterfly flew down and landed on the piece of grass near Laela. She swatted at it but missed and it flew away. She considered chasing it, but then her mother and brother turned their attention to a bramble near-by. She leaped over to her mom and watched the bush with great interest. Maybe some prey would jump out. Or another lioness cub for her to be friends with.

A male stepped out calmly. She almost leaped to kill him, thinking it was the pack leader and the lioness cub's father, but the smell reached her just in time and she stopped herself. He was new. Lapara should at least give him a chance. Ignoring his words, though she noted the gentle tone, she asked coolly, "Who are you and what do you want?". This male, like all other males, was a potential threat. She would never put Laela at risk.

The male lion stepped out of the bramble and at a single smell, Holitorn could tell he probably wasn't a threat. Then the male called him a 'cubbie'. Really. After all he had been through? After never staying the night in one place twice in a row? After almost losing his sister? After trying to kill the white cub? No. He was not a cub. And this male had no right to call him a 'cute cubbie'. He had been silent for the past few days. No reason to talk had arrived and he had not tried to make one. Now he would say something. There was nothing else to do. "Excuse me?" He said, not caring if his mother heard him. "I'm sorry but I don't see any 'cute cubbies' around here. How could you say that? You have no idea. You really have no idea." His sister was not a cub either. She thought like one, but only because she had suffered an almost-mortal injury and she was in shock. She had gone through everything he had ever had to go through, she was just blocking the memories out right now. She would come back soon. She would.

A adult walked out. Disappointment went through her. No food. No friend. Oh well. She bounded up to this male and jumped up. She saw his mane and her memory came through for just a few seconds. She remembered something for just a few seconds but the pain was unbearable. She couldn't handle it. The last time she had seen a mane she was about to die. She remembered the battle for the first time in 3 months. Then the memory died forever. She would never remember it again. She was left full of pain and dis-like for the male, but she couldn't remember why. She let it go and started bounding around the lion.

Holitorn looked at his sister and saw her acting like she was under a year. Pain filled him. He understood then that she was not in shock. That something really was wrong with her, but he didn't know what. Again he looked back up at the male. The pain in his eyes lingering for only a moment longer before they turned hard again.


OOC: That sounds fine.

[Bhu]

It occured to me pretty quickly that this family had some secrets in their past. I held no grudge at their hostile reactions, knowing every cat in this forest had a past filled with horror. Well, almost every cat. I didn't have too hard of a past, despite the fact that I had been forced to live with Murder Apes. They were friendly, though, so I had never minded much. Besides, I couldn't remember the single week I had lived in Africa. The only reason I knew he must have was because other cats of my breed had said that was where my species had originated.

The mother stopped baring her teeth and spat out a demand with a cold tone. She didn't look as if she was about to attack, though, so I kept my stance. I wouldn't fight her, anyway. She had cubs, and I would never forgive myself for stealing the life of a mother, even if I was the right. No, I would flee if this turned ugly.

"I'm sorry but I don't see any 'cute cubbies' around here. How could you say that? You have no idea. You really have no idea."

I glanced to the male cub as he spoke with a hard gaze. The hard gaze seemed to fill with pain as he glanced to the female cub, who had now bounded up to me. She hesitated for a second, her eyes filled with negative emotions, but it was quickly pushed aside and she began to dance around me. I knew she was older than she was acting, but I chuckled none the less. There were a lot of learning disabled cubs now-a-days, thanks to Murder Ape poisons.

Looking back to the male, I noted that his gaze had hardened again as he turned his look to me. "You're right, I do have no idea." I knew I should have answered the mother first, but I couldn't stand the cold look this male gave me. I hated negativity. "But I do know, judging by your size, that you are, in fact, a cub. No amount of history will ever change that. And the way I see if, a cub is cute no matter how lethal they are, or how dark their past. If I were to judge based on history and age, then most cubs would be considered ugly elders."

With that said, I looked back to the female cub, watching with amusement. I didn't speak to her, though, for I still had to answer the mothers demand. "I am Takoda, a loner male. I merely heard your daughters voice, and I longed to hear more of it. It's been a while since I heard a voice so pure and innocent. There isn't too many like that in present day." I stressed the word loner, knowing if they understood I had no pride to defend, they would realize my liklihood of attacking them would be far less. My eyes never left the female that pranced around me, even as I spoke to the mother.

[|~|Lapara|~|]

"I am Takoda, a loner male. I merely heard your daughters voice, and I longed to hear more of it. It's been a while since I heard a voice so pure and innocent. There isn't too many like that in present day." Lapara straighted a little and cocked her head to the side. Why would a loner male want to hear an innocent voice? Did he feel the same way about cubs as she? Did he want to protect them too? Suddenly the world wasn't such a pitch-black tunnel. She could see a pin-prick of light in the distance. What if the world wasn't as cruel as she thought?She needed to find out a little more about this male before she could trust him, but she could stop acting like she was going to kill him.

Holitorn stared at the male as he told him that he was in fact a cub. "If I were to judge based on history and age, then most cubs would be considered ugly elders." Quite unexpectedly he laughed. He had laughed. The young male hadn't laughed in so long that he hardly remembered what he was doing. This male had made him re-discover happiness. Even if only for a few seconds. And for that he liked him. "I am Takoda," A name. He knew that the male was talking to his mother but he said, "Nice to meet you Takoda."

Laela stopped in her prancing. The male was looking at her. It creped her out. She looked at him questioningly and ran back to her mother who pushed her gently behind her. She looked toward Holitorn. Her brother. Why didn't they play anymore? Didn't he like her anymore? She watched him laugh and wondered why it seemed so strange. She pushed the thought aside and smiled. They were going to play today. No matter what. But even as she thought that, she sat down and felt the energy draining out of her. She wanted to sleep.

[Bhu]

My eyes drifted off the female cub as she danced away from me, taking refuge behind her mother. I understood her anxiety about me, for even the most pure knew when to be careful. An adult male lion staring at you wasn't usually a friendly thing, though in my case it was.

The gaze I held moved its way towards the adult lioness as I noticed her relax slightly with my introduction words to her. A small smile came forward to my maw as I noted her beauty, but my mind didn't wander past that. The most attractive of cats can be the ugliest of company. This female had not proven that to be true, but she had not proven that to be false, either.

My maw parted to ask her name, and perhaps the names of her cubs, but then I laugh stopped me. Following the sound, my eyes landed on the male cub who had reacted to me so cooly. A prick of joy couldn't be surpressed from my heart at the idea of this male having happiness, even for a second. And then with his kind words, that joy of mine grew. Perhaps there was still hope, even for this family who had seen the darker side. "The pleasure is all mine." I mewed gently before looking back to the mother. With a reasurring and humble smile, I finally asked. "May I be so bold as to ask your name?"

[|~|Lapara|~|]

"The pleasure is all mine. May I be so bold as to ask your name?" Takoda asked. Without a moment's hesitation Holitorn replied, "My name's Holitorn." He was beyond the point of caring what his mother thought. He was old enough to decide things like telling his name by himself, though he wouldn't reveal. His mother or sister's information.

Laela fought to stay awake. She'd been asleep too much lately. She couldn't fall asleep. Not now... Her body didn't agree. It forced her into sleep and she toppled over into the ground. Fast asleep.

Lapara looked at her son with a slight bit of anger. Why would he do that? Then Laela fell asleep and she put her head down to deal with it. She picked her up by the scruff, then lay her down again. She didn't worry about waking her daughter. She knew that it was pretty much impossible.


OOC: Sucky post. Sorry.

[Bhu]

OOC//: No problem, just happy to have a post up from you

"My name's Holitorn."

It was the male cub that first answered my question. I grew anxious, fearing he'd be the one to give the mother and daughters name as well. That would, indeed, lead to a family conflict. A name was a sacred thing, only to be shared by the owner. Giving a name could lead to death and betrayal, though it could lead to companionship and joy as well. Seeing he stopped with his own name, however, I released the breath I had been holding.

The young lioness came as a distraction to the situation, toppling over with exhaustion and going to sleep. My laugh threatened to escape, but my good sense stopped it and I instead looked rather concerned. "Nice name, Holitorn." I remarked kindly, not wanting the male to think I ignored him, chosing his sister over him. But my attention was quickly back to the female cub, gaze landing wonderling and slightly fearfully on her. "Is she okay?" My voice was not mock concern, it was obvious I truley cared for the young form.

[|~|Lapara|~|]

Lapara looked up quickly at the words of Takoda. She was surprised. Laela's falling asleep had gotten so normal for them that she had forgotten it was uncommon. "Ya, she's fine. She does this all the time. I dunno why, but apparently she's tired alot." She said, her voice full of confidence but her mind full of doubt. Then something strange happened. She felt she could trust this male with her name, which was weird because she had barely told anyone her name since before the attack. "I'm Lapara by the way. And this here is my daughter, Laela." She knew how rude it was to say her daughter's name, but given the fact that she was her mother, and Laela was practically unconscious right now, she didn't think her daughter would mind.

Holitorn smiled at the male but then was confused about his words. What was he talking about? He looked towards his mother and was surprised to see his sister asleep. Had he gotten to the point where he didn't even consciously register it? He wasn't shocked though. Laela fell asleep so often that it was either get used to it or get paranoid. He was however shocked when his mother told her name, and then his sister's. That wasn't something she normally did. What was going through her head?

[Bhu]

A new mission came to mind as the mother stated this was a common exercise for her daughter. It was unnormal for a cub to simply topple over and fall asleep, usually they'd complain and eventually curl up neatly. But this cub had just plopped down, and I demanded of myself to find the hidden reason and to find a cure for whatever was ailing.

My eyes drifted up to meet the lioness' when she gave both hers and her daughters name. The concern I had felt about Holitorn freely giving the families name without his mothers consent did not move ove to Lapara's words. She was the mother and had every right to speak the knowledge of her daughters given term, since her daughter was obviously too young in mind to know the true difference between trustworthy and untrustworthy cats. I felt blessed to be considered worthy of Lapara's given name, and her cubs.

"Two more beautiful names." I commented warmly before looking back to Laela with the concern still lightly coating my liquid warm gaze. "Has she always been like this?" With my words, I allowed my eyes to travel between the two, leaving the answer for either of them. Being a traveling loner, I had seen many medical cases. This sort of spontanious exhausten was common among felines with brain disorders, but even more common with poisoned cats. If she was born like that, then I would have to abandon my search for a cure, since one that is born with the disordered can not be cured. But if it were caused by some Murder Ape concoction, or a concotion of Dio's design, then there will always be a cure out there...one must simply find it...

[|~|Lapara|~|]

"Has she always been like this?" Holitorn only heard that one sentence, but it was enough to make him cringe. Enough to make his heart feel like it was going to shatter right then and there. His chest hurt and he felt like he was going to start sobbing. He managed to control what he let out by some miracle. The young lion turned his head so Takoda couldn't see. He opened his mouth to speak, but for some reason he had to breath deeply to avoid letting unwanted noise out. The only thing that managed to get out of him was the water collecting at his eyes. He blinked and a tear ran down his face. He willed it to stay there and it did. Finally he managed the strength to talk. "No" was all he managed to quietly get out before his voice froze again. He turned back to the male, hoping that the tiny prick of water and pain inside him would not show. He could not believe himself. He was going to be on his own in a matter of a year or two at most. He couldn't afford to break into pieces every time his sister was mentioned. But still... He missed his sister so much. She was his best and only friend and to see her like this or think about the old her made him hurt. He didn't know why he was so sad and scared though. They'd never traveled so much before. She was just simply tired. Something that could happen to any cub. Ya. That was it.

"Two more beautiful names." Takoda said. Lapara smiled and was about to thank him when he added, "Has she always been like this? Her smile disappeared and she heard her son whisper "No" about a second later. She jumped in quickly, hoping to take his attention of her son who was obviously going to break down soon. "We-" She thought about how to start. "We were attacked by a group of lions about three months ago and have been on the move ever since. She's never traveled so much before and so she's become exhausted." She smiled quickly, trying to convince him that that was all.

[Bhu]

My own pain swelled as I caught the sorrow that swept from Holitorn with his quiet and simple 'no'. I desired to erase his pain, take back my question so as to have the hurt cease to exist. Only a moment before had I gained the approval of the rough edged cub, and now I had broken his heart. I couldn't bare it.

The mothers explanation caused me to distract my thoughts from the teary eyed male, and focus them on the words of Lapara. However, halfway through the statements, I found my gaze traveling back to Laela. This was more than simple exhausten, but I was not about to douse the hopes of this family. They probably knew, anyway, just refused to admit it to themselves. It was a wise decision, in a way. Ignoring the fact that Laela was ill minded would help keep the family together and sane. However, such an act could also be dangerous, fore it hindered the search for a cure.

Shaking my head in understanding, I eyed Lapara for a moment, eyes concerned and gentle. My gaze showed that I knew this was more serious then her words admited, but that I would keep those thoughts out of my words, for Holitorn more than anything. "I see." I was able to say, my eyes still locked with Lapara's.

After a few more seconds of silent gazing, I forced myself to look away from the female, and allowed a smile to return to my features. My eyes, however, remained concerned and warm as I looked to Holitorn. "I still cry, you know." I spoke the words simply to the male cub. They were aimed only at him, letting him know that one should never outgrow saddness, even males. Holding in such emotions would eat away and eventually kill any goodness that lie within a soul.

[|~|Lapara|~|]

"I see." Lapara heard him say. Great. He isn't fooled at all. She could hear the questioning tone in his voice. Then he turned his attention to her son. That plan had totally backfired.

"I still cry, you know." Holitorn was immediately filled with shame. Takoda had seen the prick of water. Then he took in the meaning of the words. His courage swelled and he took the chance before it deflated again. "No Mom." He started, turning to face her. "That's not all that happened. You need to stop being afraid and finally just admit that it's not exhaustion." His eyes widened. Had he actually just said that to his mother? Yes, he had. But he didn't care. His mom needed to stop living in a dream world with Laela and get help. Ask around. Figure out what had happened on that day. And if she wouldn't, he would. He turned back to Takoda. "Laela was almost killed that day. When we were attacked. I don't know exactly what did it, but she hasn't had any energy since then. You would never catch her sleeping three months ago. She can't remember it either."

As she heard her son's words, rage built up inside her. She had been trying to distract the male. To help him. And what had Holitorn done? He had gone and openly told her to get a grip. She held on to her anger though. She would give him a lecture later.

[Bhu]

The shame is what came first from the male cub, and I felt a prick of disapointment. My words were meant to sooth him, to allow him to realize there was no disgrace in tears. However, I never even fully comprehended my disapointment in him, for the cub suddenly understood my words.

Though it was obvious to me that the cubs rebuking of Lapara brought forth anger in the mother, I turned a silent eye to it. This was not my family, though I did feel a strange connection to them, so I could not solve all their feuds. My main concern for the time being was to find the history behind Laela and to hopefully find a way to help her future.

After Holitorn finished his explanation, I sat and thought in silence for a short moment. Blood loss could cause exhausten, but not so long ago. Laela would have either died, or her body would have replaced the lost fluids by now. No, there had to be something more to it. But what could possibly have gone wrong? Infection? That was a possiblity.

"Are there any other, um, symptoms?" I wasn't sure that was the right word. In fact, I desired to use the word issues, but considered that that would offend them all. It was never well accepted by a loving family such as this that a member may have 'issues'. "Swelling? Unexplained pain? Discoloration?" I attempted to help set off a red flag. I was no doctor, that was for sure, but the more information I had, the better off I was with a search. Perhaps I could take Laela to some kind Murder Apes, though I'd have to be careful fore some would put her in a zoo rather than release her...

[|~|Lapara|~|]

"Are there any other, um, symptoms?" He paused, then, "Swelling? Unexplained pain? Discoloration?" Holitorn thought about this for a moment. What could be considered a symptom? Finally, he answered, "Not really. We would have noticed it earlier if she'd had things like that. As I said before, she has just been more noticeably tired and can't remember anything as well as she used to. I don't know what it could be though. I mean sure she was in a fight and lost a lot of blood, but she would have recovered by now. Wouldn't she have? Thank the higher power that Taj was there. I didn't even know he was a healer, but if he hadn't healed her she would have died..." Something hit him. Taj. Taj had given her a yellow flower. His eyes widened. That had to be it. It had cured her but it had also poisoned her. He looked at his mom, terror showing in his eyes, then back to Takoda. "The yellow flower..." He said, n a voice that sounded like less then a whisper. "Taj gave Laela a yellow flower...". He was petrified. Unable to move for the shock of the knowledge.